Waiting on Death Row

Summary

Trapped in a self-made prison, haunted by regret and longing for release—Waiting on Death Row explores isolation, emotional struggle, and the search for meaning.

Waiting on death row, not in a state or federal prison, but in a prison of your own making. You feel that you have done enough harm to yourself and to others and are now waiting for your death. The final and much deserved finale to a life wasted. Many regrets, no exceptions or excuses for bad decision making and horrible choices.

Death row by compulsion. Waiting for your last moment to come. Alone in the world of your construction. One day and then the next. Dreading the unknown yet longing for it to come and put an end to your loneliness and sorrow. No bars. No guards. Yet encased within walls that you have formed that are even more secure and controlling.

Waiting on death row. You are shut behind doors that you can freely open. You can walk out into the rain or the sunlight whenever you want. No one tells you when or where to go except yourself. You stay awaiting death within the confinement of yourself.

Not wanting to be seen because of the effects of aging on your outward appearance. Not wanting to see other people. People have become uniformly contaminated by fleeting social norms. They are affected by a deliberately polluted ecosystem. They suffer from malnourished realities that do not exist. An existence alone is a fitting judgment for someone who has an inborn knack for spoiling everything they meet.

Sucking the oxygen out of air. Drying the water out of rain. Causing a stillness in a brisk wind. Transforming emotions of all colors into rubble. Death row awaiting for justice to finally come. No one to trouble. No one to concern.

Leap into the fire of the mind and die. Be amused that not even the flies or the worms will attend your funeral. The cart is dumped into a hole that the earth does not want. A gravestone is placed on the other side of nowhere. It can’t be found, and no one of note resides there.

Waiting on death row. Not behind gates or walls but sealed within the stronghold of your life and mind. No one belong there except you. Not an inhabitant on the planet wants to be there with you. You have made your enclosure. There you will stay until death parts your life. You will go away without a notice on the clock. A fitting end to what should not have begun. An enclosure made for one. A row that is decorated with death. A last meal of nothing else left.