My World

Summary

Dive into a surreal journey where reality blurs and familiar places feel like dreams. Explore the haze of choices that shape our perception of time.

My world now looks and feels like I am living in a dream. Everything seems so unrealistic, like a shadow walking in familiar places that have become like reflections in a mirror.

I can’t seem to wake myself up into a time before the fall, back into a time when reality was a stable of my consciousness. And what of time itself? It is a dimension that no longer have properties as moments have lost their meaning.

I have done this to myself by the bad choices and decisions that I have made. Decisions and choices that have placed my world in a misty haze. A misty haze of how it was and of how it is. How can I move out of the world that I have placed myself within?

The past cannot be undone. The future is uncertain because time feels motionless. Everything I try does not seem to work. Creative energies have been drained from my mind leaving me feeling mentally exhausted and open to hindering and destructive influences.

The sun will rise in the east where human cognition began and evolved, and its rays will awaken me from this dream-like state of existence. I will awaken to new avenues of realities if I do not allow self-pity to push me father into the hazy mist of my unreal world.

Things are not going well, which convicts me of my mistakes. Self-pitying wants to propel me into the world of drugs and alcohol that I see all around me. Yet my cognition tells me that I have made positive moments before, and I can do it again if I stay mentally focused and strong.

The hazy mist is a part of living life, a feature of living that can facilitate physical and mental growth if viewed with a resourceful mind. A mind that learns from mistakes and have the courage to address the wrongs done to others if that is possible. Some wrongs are best left alone because there is no way of recovery or the hope for forgiveness.

My world is a silhouette of more productive moments in my life before I pinned myself against myself falling apart and bringing my life to an illusion of its former self. My walk is broken at the feet. It is hard for my mind to distinguish between then and now. I move without making any progress. I feel as empty as the life that is no more.

There is no one to help me. There is no one to go to. And that is the way it should be because I do not deserve support nor the consideration of others. Justice says wallow in me for I have taken on the attributes of misery which you so rightfully deserve as a by-product of your actions.

The end justifies the means. If your means are immature and harmful, your end is justified to be harmful and confused. Confused in a life that is only a reflection of living in an environment that is as diffused as a vapor.

My world is a promise that I have broken, an agreement with myself that I have wasted. A rule of conduct that I have deliberately cast into the primordial ooze. But all is not lost. There is a ray of light peeking on the horizon, and it is telling me not to give up because the sun is rising, and it is up to me to make it a new day and a better way of thinking and behaving.

So, I will bathe in the regenerating rays of the rising sun for as long as life is an active condition for me. I cannot undo the harmful things that I have said and done, but I can do my best not to repeat them.

Hear me all you who can detect the frequences of my remorse and know that my memories of you are like daggers in my heart.