My World

Summary

My World reveals a surreal landscape of regret, haze, and hope—an introspective journey from broken choices toward light, renewal, and self-discovery.

My world now looks and feels like I am living in a dream. Everything seems so unrealistic, like a shadow walking in familiar places that have become like reflections in a mirror.

I can’t seem to wake myself up into a time before the fall. I can’t return to a time when reality was a stable of my consciousness. And what of time itself? It is a dimension that no longer has properties as moments have lost their meaning.

I have done this to myself by the bad choices and decisions that I have made. Decisions and choices that have placed my world in a misty haze. A misty haze of how it was and of how it is. How can I move out of the world that I have placed myself within?

The past can’t be undone. The future is uncertain because time feels motionless. Everything I try does not seem to work. Creative energies have been drained from my mind leaving me feeling mentally exhausted and open to hindering and destructive influences.

The sun will rise in the east. This is where human cognition began and evolved. Its rays will awaken me from this dream-like state of existence. I will discover new avenues of realities. This will happen only if I refuse self-pity. I need to avoid being pushed farther into the hazy mist of my unreal world.

Things are not going well, which convicts me of my mistakes. Self-pitying wants to propel me into the world of drugs and alcohol that I see all around me. Yet my cognition tells me that I have made positive moments before. I can do it again if I stay mentally focused and strong.

The hazy mist is a part of living life. It is a feature that can help physical and mental growth. Viewing it with a resourceful mind can help. A mind learns from mistakes. It has the courage to tackle the wrongs done to others if that is possible. Some wrongs are best left alone because there is no way of recovery or the hope for forgiveness.

My world is a silhouette of more productive moments in my life. This was before I pinned myself against myself. I fell apart and brought my life to an illusion of its former self. My walk is broken at the feet. It is hard for my mind to distinguish between then and now. I move without making any progress. I feel as empty as the life that is no more.

There is no one to help me. There is no one to go to. And that is the way it should be because I do not deserve support nor the consideration of others. Justice says wallow in me. I have taken on the attributes of misery. You so rightfully deserve these attributes as a by-product of your actions.

The end justifies the means. If your means are immature and harmful, your end is justified to be harmful and confused. You are confused in a life that mirrors merely surviving. This existence is in an environment as diffused as a vapor.

My world is a promise that I have broken, an agreement with myself that I have wasted. A rule of conduct that I have deliberately cast into the primordial ooze. But all is not lost. There is a ray of light peeking on the horizon. It tells me not to give up because the sun is rising. It is up to me to make it a new day. It is also up to me to find a better way of thinking and behaving.

So, I will bathe in the regenerating rays of the rising sun. I will continue this practice for as long as life is an active condition for me. I can’t undo the harmful things that I have said. I can’t undo what I have done. Nevertheless, I can do my best not to repeat them.

Hear me, all you who can detect the frequencies of my remorse. Know that my memories of you are like daggers in my heart.